Captain Tom asked for two Cokes, a bar of Dairy Milk… and six blondes

WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 19

I’ve had the OK to restart filming my Life Stories show after a lengthy postponement due to the pandemic.

During one of six meals I enjoyed with Dame Joan Collins during my French holiday (‘Is she stalking you?’ joked one of my Instagram followers after I posted yet another picture of us cavorting together. ‘No, he’s stalking me,’ Joan instantly replied), she asked me who I’d most like to interview that I’ve never persuaded to do it.

‘Sir Michael Caine,’ I instantly replied.

The Zulu and Alfie movie legend has defied my advances for 12 years, though he did once send me a great rejection note that read: ‘Dear Piers, Thanks for the offer. I’m a big fan. But I love watching your show for all the reasons I don’t want to be on it. All the best, Michael.’

When I asked him again after interviewing his great friend Sir Roger Moore, he replied: ‘You’re getting closer, but still no cigar.’

Tonight, I was dining at the River Café restaurant in West London when I spied someone waving at me from a nearby table.

It was Caine, sitting with his wife Shakira.

I went straight over.

‘I’m filming a new Life Stories series,’ I said. ‘Any chance of that cigar?’

He chuckled.

‘Maybe. Who else are you doing?’

‘Captain Tom,’ I replied. ‘It would be great to follow one national treasure with another…’

‘Flattery will get you everywhere. Well I love him. Let me watch that one and if I like it, maybe I’ll succumb.’

Of all Captain Tom’s achievements, helping me finally book Sir Michael may top the lot.

MONDAY, AUGUST 31

To Elstree Studios to film Life Stories with Vinnie Jones, my first-ever repeat guest.

I knew it would be emotional because of the tragic death of his wife Tanya last year, but nothing prepared for me for his raw pain and heartache. Vinnie, infamous as one of the toughest football hardmen, burst into tears the moment he saw footage of his beloved ‘Tans’ smiling in the audience from our first show in 2010. And the tears flowed again and again as he spoke about their marriage.

When I asked what he missed most about her, he sobbed: ‘Just the trampoline of being there for me. I’d let her down so many times, but she’d catch me. She never once wouldn’t put her arms out and catch me.’

I’ve heard true love defined in many ways, but never so simply or profoundly, and it left many members of the small audience, including his great mate Paul ‘Gazza’ Gascoigne, weeping too.

SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 5

I finally got to meet Captain Sir Tom Moore at our Life Stories recording, and he’s even more charming in real life, with a mischievous twinkle in his eye. When we asked him what he’d like as his dressing-room ‘rider’, the response was: ‘Two cans of Coke, a bar of Dairy Milk chocolate… and six blondes.’

And when I suggested, given his age, that we might split the show in two so he could have a break halfway through, Tom looked bemused: ‘Why – will you need a nap, Piers?’

The interview – which airs on ITV tonight at 8pm – was fabulously revealing, moving, inspiring and often laugh-out-loud funny.

‘We’re up against Sir David Attenborough,’ I said. ‘So, it will be a tough ratings battle.’

‘We’ll win,’ replied Captain Tom firmly.

MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 7

Gazza was burgled on Monday and police fear the thieves were alerted to him being away from his home in Poole, Dorset, by a selfie of us that I posted on Twitter during the Vinnie Life Stories recording.

They cleaned him out of £140,000 worth of valuables, including a watch his late dad gave him, and some prized football memorabilia. They even stole two steaks from his freezer.

Paul appeared on Good Morning Britain today and made a tearful plea to the burglars: ‘I was really close to me dad… I don’t mind the other stuff, but the sentimental stuff, that meant a hell of a lot. Whoever’s got it, if they wanna put it in a bag and leave it somewhere; they don’t have to own up to it.’

If that doesn’t prick the conscience of the p***** who did this, then nothing will.

As for the steaks, I sent him a dozen replacements. ‘Will you cook them too?’ he asked.

‘No mate,’ I replied. ‘You’ve suffered enough.’

TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 8

Very sadly, my brilliantly funny long-time Life Stories audience warm-up man, Ian ‘Roycey’ Royce, has died from pneumonia aged just 51. He was a legend in the TV industry who worked on many big shows, including Britain’s Got Talent and The X Factor, and tributes poured in from grateful stars including Ant and Dec, Robbie Williams and Amanda Holden.

Roycey always introduced me the same way: ‘Piers Morgan – big M, small organ!’