The ultimate guide to navigating back to school

Going back to school tomorrow after an extended break will be nerve-wracking for many children and parents alike.  

Families are not only faced with the usual struggles of getting their children back into a routine and organising their uniforms but now they have to contend with Covid-19 restrictions and re-establishing relationships with old friends. 

Many parents may be left feeling worried about how they can guide their children through the ‘new norm’ at school, from making sure they properly social distance to helping them catch up with school work. 

Femail has spoken to experts to get tips and advice for how parents can assist their children with navigating the changes in their new school lives.

Navigating friendships

Research conducted by communication company No Isolation – which aims to reduce loneliness and self isolation – found 76 per cent of parents and carers are worried that their children are suffering from loneliness as a result of lockdown.

While children may be excited to socialise and move away from the loneliness they may be feeling, there may also be some who are worried about how they communicate with their friends as the pandemic continues to restrict who we are able to see and how we behaviour around people outside of our households. 

Returning to school after the long summer holidays may now seem scary and leave them wondering if friendships will have survived the summer. 

Childcare expert and founder of Nipperbout  Janthea Brigden said: ‘Even in ‘normal’ times, renewing friendships can feel awkward as children digest these changes. 

‘This year brings the additional possibility of loss or trauma – parents losing jobs, grandparents dying, marital splits.  

To tackle the fear “What if no one likes me?”, she suggests encouraging children to write a list of all the people who they know like them, including their family, and giving it to them to take to school. 

She said: ‘Just having that in their pocket to touch occasionally or read in the playground, may help.’

If the children are struggling to get along after such a long time apart, Ms Brigden advises setting up a meet up in parks or gardens after school. 

‘Bringing everyone into a different environment to socialise often defuses arguments,’ she said.    

Parental engagement expert Dr Kathy Weston advises giving children ‘sentence starters’ to help them start up conversations with their peers in the lunch queue or in the playground.

‘Simple sentences like “What year are you in?” “What school were you in before?”, “Is this your first year here?” can really give children the confidence to take that first step. ‘

She also suggests encouraging children to make others feel included but not to put pressure on children to make friends either. 

Parents may also be worried about their children’s social skills when they get back into the classroom as they have had limited time with other young children and may have forgotten how to share. 

To tackle the issue, Innovate UK created the Embers the Dragon School Readiness platform which aims to support children from the earliest stages of their development and encourage social skills.  

The expert behind the campaign Emma Selby said: ‘Encouraging turn taking behaviour through play can help warm up some of those rusty social skills. 

‘Board games at home can be one way of doing this or my personal favourite is a game of Balloon Keepy Up – it encourages turn taking, team work and problem solving but is also social-distancing friendly.’

Anxiety

As well as worrying if their friendships will be different when they walk through the gates on their first day, children may also feel anxious about the ‘new norm’ in the classroom. 

New research this week revealed a quarter of parents admit their children have anxieties about going back to normal activities since the pandemic. 

The findings, from cleaning products company ACE, paint a worrying picture for many parents who will naturally fear for their children’s physical and mental wellbeing when going back to school. 

Natural parenting expert Angela Spencer suggests limiting how much news children absorb every day could help reduce their anxieties. 

‘The last time the world faced something as disruptive and worrying as this, the only exposure we had was a radio to listen to that gave one briefing a day,’ she said.

‘Now, the news is unavoidable and children are bombarded by it 24/7. Whether it’s the radio at home, TV or even the phones that many young children have, its unavoidable. 

‘It’s understandably all we are talking about and it can be easy to forget that little ears can hear and feel our emotions from us. 

‘So first of all, limit little ones exposure to the news and don’t talk about the situation in front of them either. Let children know it’s okay to talk to you about anything that is worrying them.’

The best-selling author also has also written a book, titled The Worries, which aims to help young children handle their fears. 

Former headteacher Andrew Hammond, of Discovery Education also suggests children may be feeling anxious about leaving their parents behind after such a long time together. 

He advises parents with children who are exceedingly anxious about returning could speak to the school about a possible staggered return, allowing them to get used to it in small increments. 

He said: ‘Children are incredibly resilient and will quickly adapt to being back in the classroom.

‘While it’s important to acknowledge these anxieties, parents should also remember that children take their lead from adults.’

The former headteacher suggests parents should remain confident and upbeat about the return to school by focusing on the positive aspects and asking their child what they enjoy most about school most – encouraging them to feel excited about it.

Safety measures

Most children will be going back to a school environment they’ve never experienced before – one with social distancing and heightened awareness of germs. 

Adjusting to the new measures may take time and the experts suggest there are some ways in which parents can help assist their transition. 

Natural parenting expert Ms Spencer stressed parents should take care to explain to their children why it is important to adhere to safety measures and why they have to stay away from everyone. 

One way she suggests doing this is to emphasise the fact some people ‘get poorly easier’ than others and the child must do what they can to protect them.  

Additionally, Ms Spencer says: ‘Help them understand the importance of washing their hands not just because of this virus but because of all germs.

‘It’s important however to let them still play in the garden, play with paints and other things to get dirty – we don’t want them to develop a phobia of dirt.’  

For the reassurance of both parents and children, parental engagement expert Dr Kathy Weston said schools are ‘adept at helping students get used to new practices that can help keep us all safe’. 

Instead she encourages parents to prepare their child for looking out for their own wellbeing, as opposed to worry about whether the people around them are following the rules. 

‘Children can only be responsible for themselves. There may good reasons why a particular pupil is not required to use a mask so don’t jump to assumptions,’ she said. 

‘Encourage your child to focus on themselves by doing what they can to socially distance and wash their hands as much as they can. We can’t control what others do.’

Getting back into a routine 

Research by crisp brand Pom Bears found 42 per cent of parents say their child is completely out of a routine and it will be tough to get back into one. 

With hoards of parents facing the same problem, Femail asked the experts for their advice for getting their children back into their pre-lockdown routine. 

In order to calm children and help them wind down before bed time, Ms Spencer suggests using some essential oils. 

‘Lavender is a good all-round oil for this as it helps to promote sleep, dispels anxiety and worry.’

In addition to the oils, she said parents should give their little ones plenty of cuddles  and allow them some time to feel and release any emotions which may trouble them before bed. 

‘If they’re angry, sad or not sure how they feel I always say “It’s ok, you can talk to me”. Let them know it’s okay to feel however they feel and that you can help them talk through it.’ 

In order to adjust children to their routine, Dr Nneka Ikeogu, a child psychologist, also suggests getting them to help with back to school preparations – making sure everything is ready. 

She said children may take some time to get get used to getting up and ready for school in the mornings and parents should not be surprised if they see some changes in their child’s behaviour in the first week back. 

‘Your child might resist getting back into a routine or doing what they need to do to prepare for going back. 

‘Remember that children tend to express their feelings through their behaviour and so they’ll need your support to understand what they’re feeling and to find ways of managing their emotions.’   

Catching up with schoolwork

After several months of homeschooling, children and parents may feel they have fallen behind with their work.  

Childcare expert Janthea Brigden said parents should expert for their children to be placed in ‘catch up’ groups to help them catch up on everything they have missed. 

While the children may feel singled out, she says parents should remind them that it isn’t just them, the chances are that most children will need to catch up in one subject or another.

Ms Bridgen, who was homeschooled by her mother in the 70s, said: ‘Try to support your child to feel ‘good enough’. Find the thing your child is most skilled at or interested in and give them plenty of encouragement. ‘

While it is often easy to focus on academic skills, she says it is important to place as much value on non-academic skills too.  

‘Keep your own need to have done a ‘good job’ with home schooling under check. 

‘Whatever you did was enough and most children will have learnt and gained so much just from the prolonged time of being around family. 

‘Avoid the blame game of “I told you so” and “You should have worked harder” and concentrate on all the things your children did learn whilst with you.’

Instead she encourages parents and children to see making mistakes as a valuable part of learning – a philosophy she says will also set them in good stead when they are an adult too.   

In contrast, Dr Kathy Weston suggests it is more important than ever, to emphasise the importance of school as a place where we go to learn and work hard. 

‘It is right that children got to relax and enjoy themselves over the summer, but a new school term, means we should be back to aiming high, goal-setting and doing our best.’

To help their children, she says parents should encourage their children to think about what they want to achieve this term and think about what they want to pursue.