Ainsley Harriott says he still has feelings for ex wife “but everyone moves on”

In his own words, TV chef Ainsley Harriott, shares the lessons in life he has learned along the way…

Believe in your dreams and never give up.

You don’t have to be the brightest or brainiest in life, but come up with a plan and then follow it.

At 18 I made a decision to leave school. But I didn’t just walk out, I’d spent the summer with an amazing French family on the Île de Ré and instinctively knew I wanted to get into cooking.

As soon as I began meeting all these chefs behind the scenes, seeing them drink coffee and listening to their banter as they smoked cigarettes, I immediately felt at home.

I always craved attention as a child, and I still do.

My mum affectionately called me her ‘little Puda’ and friends I’ve known all my life say I’ve always laughed, been exuberant and shared, shared, shared whatever I was cooking.

I’m 63 now and I’m still picking my nose and picking my bum, some things never change. But I’m at that time of my life when I go up the stairs and then forget what I went up there for.

My mum Peppy was the biggest influence on my life.

She taught me, my brother and my sister to take pride in ourselves, and make sure our shoes were always shiny. It can’t have been easy for her coming to Britain in the early 1950s and making a life here, but she was such a positive force of nature.

She was incredibly sociable and chose our church because it was a melting pot of different families – Polish, Greek, Italian, Chinese, Hungarians – Mum wanted us to fully integrate.

Anyone who turned up at our house hungry would get fed.

That’s what Mum did, and now I do, too. We lost her 27 years ago. She was able to meet my daughter, but sadly she didn’t see me doing all these lovely TV shows, or collecting my MBE from Buckingham Palace.

She would have loved that, because her generation really understood what the British Empire was about. I know she is looking down from somewhere, though, and smiling.

I don’t have regrets in life because I find that word too negative.

I don’t hold onto mistakes and harbour resentments. Life doesn’t always go to plan.

From a materialistic point of view I sometimes feel, ‘I should have bought that flat or that house’, but in terms of the relationships I’ve had in my life, you can’t have regrets.

Learn how to take a compliment properly.

If someone says you’ve done well, or look nice, don’t start quantifying it or making out it was no big deal. Just say ‘thank you’.

It’s an English trait not to feel proud of yourself, and be all self-deprecating. But it’s much better to accept it and think that’s very nice.

My marriage didn’t last, but when I look at my beautiful children and the lovely relationship I have with them, there can be only positives.

I still have love and feelings for my ex wife, that never stops because she gave me the most important things in my life, and there is a respect there. But everyone moves on, and that’s fine.

I have a partner now and I’m enjoying having love and getting to share my life with someone, that’s what it’s all about, isn’t it? Although she always says to me, ‘I’d prefer it if you didn’t talk about me, thanks darling’.

You’ve got to love yourself and be able to forgive yourself before you can extend that to others.

Be nice to yourself, keep smiling and spread the love. We tend to beat ourselves up, especially once we have children.

None of us is perfect, but we all do the best we can. You can’t compare yourself to anyone else.

My children Jimmy, 30, and Maddie, 27, are the loves of my life, without a doubt.

You love your children even more than your partners because they’re a mixture of both of you, and they’re the most important things in your life.

I’m so glad I’ve been able to teach them how to cook and feel comfortable in the kitchen. They are both very able to throw dinner parties and entertain people, I love that.

Secrets behind Ainsley Harriott’s favourite photo

Look at me in my ’tache, we look so young. That’s my mate Paul Boross, who I performed with as part of The Calypso Twins in the early 90s.

This picture was taken around 30 years ago and always makes me smile when I look at it, a copy of this is on the wall at the Comedy Store in London.

Paul and I were both born in Paddington and went to school together in Wandsworth. We’ve lived within 10 minutes of each other in south London for years and see each other at least once a week.

He’ll come round for Saturday brunch, he loves my sweetcorn fritters and dollops on the HP sauce. We headlined together everywhere, from the Comedy Store to The London Palladium to Jongleurs, and had a hit record with World Party.

Although we both do very different jobs, Paul will crack out his guitar and we still love a singsong. Old friends are special.

– Ainsley’s Food We Love starts on Saturday, September 5 at 11.30am on ITV