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Manoj Bajpayee: I was close to committing suicide, so my friends would sleep next to me

Manoj Bajpayee opened up on his journey in Bollywood and revealed how this farmer’s son from Bihar made it big in Bollywood.

From Bihar to Bollywood, Manoj Bajpayee’s path to fame wasn’t an easy one. The Aligarh actor recently talked to Humans of Bombay about his journey in Bollywood.

In the post, Manoj mentioned how he knew at the age of 9 that he was made for acting. He wrote, “I’m a farmer’s son; I grew up in a village in Bihar, with 5 siblings we went to a hut school. We led a simple life, but whenever we went to the city, we’d go to the theatre. I was a Bachchan fan & wanted to be like him. At 9, I knew acting was my destiny. But I couldn’t afford to dream & continued my studies. Still, my mind refused to focus on anything else, so at 17, I left for DU. There, I did theatre but my family had no idea. Finally, I wrote a letter to dad, he wasn’t angry & even sent me Rs.200 to cover my fees! (sic).”

He added, “People back home called me ‘good for nothing’ but I turned a blind eye. I was an outsider, trying to fit in. So, I taught myself English & Hindi, Bhojpuri was a big part of how I spoke. I then applied to NSD, but was rejected thrice. I was close to committing suicide, so my friends would sleep next to me & not leave me alone. They kept me going until I was accepted (sic).”

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Revealing how he got cast in Shekhar Kapur’s Bandit Queen, he wrote, “That year, I was at a chai shop when Tigmanshu came looking for me on his khatara scooter. Shekhar Kapur wanted to cast me in Bandit Queen! So I felt I was ready & moved to Mumbai. Initially, it was tough. I rented a chawl with 5 friends & looked for work, but got no roles. Once, an AD tore my photo & I’ve lost 3 projects in a day. I was even told to ‘get out’ after my 1st shot. I didn’t fit the ideal ‘hero’ face, so they thought I’d never make it to the big screen (sic).”

Manoj struggled for four years before he started making a living through acting. He wrote, “All the while, I struggled to make rent & at times even a vada pav was costly. But the hunger in my stomach couldn’t dissuade my hunger to succeed. After 4 years of struggle, I got a role in Mahesh Bhatt’s TV series. I got Rs.1500 per episodemy, first steady income. My work was noticed & I was offered my first Bollywood film & soon, I got my big break with ‘Satya’. That’s when the awards rolled in. I bought my first house & knewI was here to stay. 67 films later, here I am. That’s the thing about dreams when it comes to turning them into reality, the hardships don’t matter. What matters is the belief of that 9-year-old Bihari boy & nothing else (sic).”

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Manoj is one of the most respected and beloved actors of the Hindi film industry. He gained popularity after he starred in Ram Gopal Varma’s Satya (1998). He received the National Film Award for Best Supporting Actor and Filmfare Critics Award for Best Actor for the film. He went on to do iconic roles in films like Kaun (1999), Shool (1999), Zubeidaa (2001), Road (2002) and more.

Currently his film, Bhonsle, is streaming on Sony LIV.

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