‘The day when I came to know that my body does not have vagina’

The doctor had asked him a simple question related to periods.

From that question of the doctor, Kenyan Julian Peter came to know that she was born without uterus (womb), cervix (cervix) and vagina (vagina). Kenyan Julian Peter is currently 29 years old. A few years ago he came to know about this and he spoke to BBC correspondent Ann Ngugi about this.

I was born with a condition called MRKH, this is a condition in which there is no heat and vagina in the body of the woman. Not only this. In this condition, there is only one kidney in the body. A woman who has MRKH can never have periods.

If I do not have a uterus in my body, I can never have periods. But if you feel that this is not normal then I want to say that it is very normal and I do not feel bad about it at all.

People feel very different about me.

‘Whatever they feel they can say’

Some people told me that I should go and pray for this situation of mine somewhere. Someone else said that because I come from Ukambani (a province that is associated with witchcraft in a conservative way), it must have had something to do with my grandmother.

Whatever you feel, he can say, but what really matters is how I take it. If I start listening to those people, the effect of all those things will be up. I will start thinking about him and start realizing that everything he is saying is true.

After a long time, I was probably 17 years old and in school. Then I came to know that I have a special condition. I had trouble with my legs that day, so I went to the hospital. My feet were swollen. The first thing that he asked as soon as he reached the doctor was when was my last time.

I told them that I never had periods. They scanned. The first picture that appeared in the scan was that my genitals were completely closed. I had to get the operation done to open it. The operation was done but did not succeed.

‘I did not want to have the operation’

After that I had another scan which showed that there is no uterus or vagina in my body and at the same time it came to know that I have MRKH condition. When I came to know that I have such a condition, on the first day I cried a lot but on the second and third day I got over it. I was only 17 at that time.

It is very young. At that time, I only wanted to return to my school. I was in the hospital and my mother was with me. When she came to know about this, she was completely shocked. As a single parent, she started to question herself. She was beginning to find her mistake in this.

I was studying in Biology, so I understood everything that the doctor was saying. I told him that I do not want to have the operation and in any case I just want to complete my schooling. Ten years after this, I reached the hospital and after that when I had the operation, it was successful.

The kind of MRKH that I had, it simply meant that there is no weight in my body. There is no uterus and there is only one kidney in my body. There was not even a vaginal canal in my body and it needed to be made. My life was absolutely normal because MRKH was not affecting my life.

For IVF

But for some people it can be emotionally shattering, and many people are probably those who have to seek the help of a psychologist to accept the condition. When you come to know that you are struggling with a situation like this, then you have to forget that you can become a mother sometime.

My four more scans were done and it was found out that there is no ovary in my body, so eggs cannot be obtained for IVF. You have to accept yourself the way you are. But when you feel that you are not like other women then it is a bit difficult.

At that time you feel the need to talk to someone. In Kenya, I met many people who have the same problem. I met them and we shared our experiences with each other. I accepted my position in the very early times and myself as well, so now I am absolutely fine.

Tell your partner about it

I have been in a relationship with many people. But I wanted to make them clear about my situation before taking them further in this relationship. If they want to accept it, they will accept it. But you know that humans are only humans. I found many people who went away as soon as they came to know about it.

Many people told me that I am lying and many people felt that I was doing this to get rid of them. Right now I am not in a relationship with anyone but I believe that God is doing whatever is happening.

But if you talk about sex, in the year 2018, I underwent surgery to make a vaginal canal. This thing has been over a year but I am not ready for sex right now. Nor am I ready for marriage. If we feel that we want children then we can adopt children.

Tips for parents

I had to muster up the courage to share my story in front of everyone and it took me ten years. There are many people who do not understand what MRKH is and I want to make people aware about it.

First of all, I want to tell the parents of the children who are struggling with this condition that until your children grow up, do not think about getting them operated. Get the operation done, but then when they grow up, they themselves get an understanding for it because this whole process is very long and complicated.

It is very painful and to a great extent it is possible that the child does not understand what is happening. As a parent, you also need to do full research so that when your daughter comes to know about her condition, you can help her.

There are some people with me who are there to help me, but I talked to many people who have this kind of problem. There are many women who are married and their in-laws are demanding that they want children. To a woman, her mother-in-law has even said that she is a man, not a woman.

We listened carefully to him and encouraged him. It is a difficult journey and in such a situation it is most important that we help each other